The pressures to keep up the hype

What if I told you I spent many days crying from the pressures of building Lemons 2 Lemonade?

By this time I was already burnt out by the expectations that came with starting L2L. 

From the very first mixer, I felt the pressure after I was asked throughout the event when the next one would be. I hadn’t planned a cadence at that point but the pressure to produce to keep up with the other networking events that popped up around the same time that were hosting monthly.

Next came attendees giving me suggestions on how to be more like other networking series. If I don’t create experiences like theirs would people stop coming?

After that came the expectations of turning something that I love to do into a lucrative business. How can you be taken seriously as a founder if you don’t plan an exit from corporate America since it’s what everyone else was doing or striving to do at the time. 

Eventually, I had to silence the noise and do things that felt manageable, that stayed true to the mission.

People will start putting expectations on you that you start to accept as your own. Whether it be #RelationshipGoals to live up to, being the best in your industry or even the most successful in your family, you start to realize how heavy the crown really is, but you buy into it anyway and start to curate the perfect picture of what people see you as. I’ve lost myself in it and I know many of you have, too.  Recently actor Devale Ellis, shared with ESSENCE the realities of fame that can make it challenging for him to show up as the husband and a father that he wants to be. “When people are believing in you, you now have a responsibility to be what they see,” he shared. 

Being on the pedestal can carry a lot of weight, but I eventually learned to step off and life’s lemons forced me to stop painting a pretty picture. It helped me to reclaim my north star and remind myself what truly matters.

Here are some things that I stopped doing that helped free me from feeling the pressure to live up to the hype: 

Know when to pass the opportunity 

One thing that freed me was letting go of the scarcity mindset and saying no to opportunities that didn’t align with my expertise. Many people will say yes to everything even when they aren’t a good fit, doesn’t align with their next era or when they are already overcommitted. When you continue to do this you can set yourself up to look like a fraud or fall short in your delivery because you couldn’t put your best foot forward. Lastly if you keep saying yes to do things that no longer aligns with how you want to grow, then you stay stagnant. It’s time to start freeing yourself and pass the opportunities to someone else in your network so you can make room for what’s right for you. A good friend always reminds me that what’s for you won’t pass you and I’m here to remind you of that as well.

Free yourself from the on brand social feeds

There was a time that I wouldn’t post anything on my social feeds, if I didn’t have on yellow or it didn’t align with my professional career. I also posted every other day, turned every post into a lesson and hopped on most trending topics with my two cents. Now, I post what I want when I want, I share my trending topic takes with the group chat and I recently used a rap lyric for a caption and I was so excited. Today authenticity wins, and people follow you online to know the whole you. You can be vulnerable in a post and the next you can share valuable information, but you don’t have to push perfection. From sharing your fitness journey to cooking a meal to showing off your new nail set or giving a review of a new matcha drink at your favorite cafe, content can be simple yet helpful. You don’t have to overthink it. However, do find one platform that works best for your conversions to stay on brand, but free yourself from the need to be like that everywhere.

Don’t let FOMO prevent you from resting

You are no good to others if you are not good to yourself. When life is giving you lemons, the least of your worries should be staying on top of mind and being seen. We all want to be in the room where it happens, but not at the cost of our healing and mental health. So what if you need to take a break from social media, the people who matter won’t forget about you. Also, you can schedule things out if you must manage the brand. It’s fine if you can’t be the social butterfly people know you to be, because right now you need to save money, invest in your wellness or grieve. Some things just don’t matter the way you think they do, and people are more understanding than you think. 

Let’s start reclaiming what matters to us. Always remember your why and check your joy temperature when the pressure feels like it’s too much. It’s never too late to reset and get back to basics.

Writer’s note: I do understand that there is some privilege that I have that allows me to pivot in this way.